January 31st, 2007

A wordless shit chat

Posted by Lifecruiser in Photo, Nature
Lifecruisers shit chat
© Lifecruiser 2005 (Fuerteventura, Spain)
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Cruise list: Melli, Crissybug, Claudie, Uisce, Brony, JHS, FelineFrisky - Diane, Holly Schwendiman, Celeste, Sonny, Jan, ADDIE, Amy, Janice (5 Minutes for Mom), Jenny-up the hill, Michelle, Janet, Gattina, Friday's Child, Elementaryhistoryteacher, That frolicsome kid, Rav`N, Letha, Maggie, Sanni, Misslionheart, Debbie, Starrlight, TorAa, and Udit.
January 30th, 2007

The Cackle Continue

Posted by Lifecruiser in Health, Life

Lifecruisers Tackle Top

A lot of cackle and then life happened to step in between… Pictures comes in the end of the post.

Searching for a caring Doctor: Don’t kick me! I haven’t done enough since last time, but I do have valid excuses. We had to fix certain things to our home, then my sister went ill, which besides helping her also meant I had to visit my Mom extra. And tonight I slept bad because my best friend Miss Ass. Lifecruiser is ill too and went to hospital again. This have taken all my energy.

My stomach problems: I’m a bit better. I don’t know why for certain though. Remember that I was getting bacteria capsules to improve my immune defense? I’m eating the capsules and they seems to work so far, we’ll see after a while since I’m not really on terms with Lactose and even these capsules seem to have a little lactose in it. (It’s Lactobacillus acidophilus, Bifidobacterium animalis, Lactobacillus bulgaricus, Streptococcus thermophilus).

Contact my doctor to get copies of my journals? I didn’t do it. I came to think about that I’ve an appointment the 13th-14th of February with a pain management doc, so it’s better to wait after that visit before I demand my journals, so I get a copy of that statement of their too. Great way to avoid it huh? *lol*

Move our flesh: We were in strong need of some exercise, but how easy is that with my back and this cold weather? It’s not so healthy for me to be out in the cold even though I put on enough clothes for Antarctis… So, what to do?

Home Make Overs: We were also in big need of new curtains, both in the bedroom and kitchen, so why not get exercise through shopping? But it turned out to be a very difficult task. Phew! You see, there is mostly sixty and seventy patterns and totally wrong colors for our taste.

Then I even remembered that I since a very very long time have needed a new office chair for my poor back. And butt, because that old chair were like sitting on a wooden bench… It’s very important to sit right, right? *lol*

Keep in mind here, that we’re living compact living and we don’t know for how long we’ll stay here, we want to move, so it has to be cheap things in case of that we need to get rid off them later.

If anyone had said to me that I would have these colors in my home, I wouldn’t have believed them. Not black at least. But sometimes you just have to go with what the sales in the stores have to offer right then…

Lifecruisers new curtains and chairs
It’s actually 6 curtains, 4 kind of bamboo brownish-red and the 2 Japanese (?) ones. It fitted the black chairs (from IKEA :-) too.

Lifecruisers new curtains and chairs
The bedspread which we got recently, in a sale that too. It matches the curtains very well. Mr Lifecruiser has won the animals for me at the amusement park. And yes, we sleep in this 90 cm (35 inches) bed both of us and we love it and long for it when we’re away! We fit each other like puzzle pieces ;-) And yes, the zebra is hugging the Panda ;-)

Lifecruisers old chairs
Our old chairs together with a bag with crap from the package with the new ones. The right one was mine. We’re going out to dump them right after writing this…

Lifecruisers old photos of young Mr Lifecruiser
This is old photos of Mr Lifecruiser taken by a professional photographer at his hairdresser when he was young. His hairdresser wanted him as a model, so they were even put out in the window. This wall was totally empty before that, so it’s an improvement to have put up them there finally.

Oh, and if you read the post below this, there is some tackles there too :-)

Reminder rest Tit’s:

1. Get copies of my medical journals
2. Kick my ass to find a new doctor
3. Deal with my health issues
4. Find new kitchen curtains
5. Kitchen cupboards
6. Porcelain boxes
7. Clean bathroom
8. Clean hall closet
9. Basement storage
10. Sales ads

(I must have an evil twin that keeps filling up this list all the time….*lol*)

See the latest post and Tackle It Tuesday participants over at 5 minutes for mom.

Cruise list: Janice (5 Minutes for Mom), That frolicsome kid, Irish Church Lady, Debbie, Jenny-up the hill, Jenn, Babystepper, and Gattina.
January 29th, 2007

The mean clean

Posted by Lifecruiser in Useful, Life
Lifecruiser Washing Up
Husmodern (Swedish magazine) 1923

OK, this wasn’t what I had in mind to keep me occupied. The ultimate mean clean.

First: my sister went ill again and there were some cleaning involved there too, but I’m sorry I can’t tell you about it….

Let’s just say that this have and will keep me a bit more occupied than usual - in case you have or will miss me. I can’t make around to you all for the moment. You understand that, I hope. Real life and near and dear ones have to be put before blogging - or? *LOL*

Second: I’m really occupied washing for the moment, I’ve been neglecting it too long now. No clothes to put on soon! *lol* Yeah, yeah, I hear you, but it’s too cold to go naked! Really!

Third: Today my computer was nearly washed out by an evil Trojan and bootsector virus. Despite the fact that I do NOT open email from strangers, I haven’t installed any new programs, I’ve not been on any less serious websites (no porn, we make it ourselves ;-) . How the heck did they get here? *sigh*

I’ve been working on it now and I think my other darling, Avast Antivirus, and we did it together, we washed the virus out! I do hope it will continue to work and not come back!

I must say that I’m really impressed by Avast and especially that they make it available free for home users. That is truly very generous of them. This is the second time Avast saves me. The first time I had Norton Antivirus, but that didn’t help at all.

Thanks ALWIL software for Avast Antivirus :-)

The old cleaning lady


Fourth: Tonight I’ll have difficulties to sleep since my best friend Miss Ass. Lifecruiser phoned late in the evening to tell me that I shouldn’t be worried, but she is on the way in to the hospital…. Terrible pain in the bowel area. Let’s hope it’s nothing difficult, because it usually is when it comes to her. I’ve never meet any person with such a bad luck!!! When shall she ever get any peace and quiet…?

Cruise list: Debbie, Gattina, That frolicsome kid, Dave, Irish Church Lady, and Zingtrial.
January 28th, 2007

300 year of passion counts

Posted by Lifecruiser in Swedish, Nature
Lifecruisers Passion Tulip
© Lifecruiser, Tulip House, Stockholm

This is our celebration to the passion of nature. Today Sweden start a 300 years anniversery of the birth of Carl Linneaus, the passionated (at least for nature ;-) Swede that travelled around the world making up a sexual system of all living things.

It’s him we shall thank for a lot of the species names in the system. He started it all. Think about it, what a work to categorize it all! Truly amazing work he did. I do wonder though if he had that much time left for passion with his wife….? *lol*

From what I can understand Linnaeus was rather open and frank when he compared it to the human sexual reproduction and at that time people were a bit chocked at first, but his very useful scheme took the world by storm.

Sweden celebrates his birth 300 years ago with a lot of events during this year, starting with an opening by the Swedish Royal King and fireworks among other popular happenings. Though even other countries celebrates him with exhibitions some time during the year: Japan, France, Polen, Germany and Great Britain.

They’re giving out an anniversary book, named System och passion (”A Passion for Systems”) which I’m planning to get later if I can find it on any sale, because it’s reather expensive. It will use photographs to show how his system is built up, describing both history and development of the plant classification system from then to now.

If any one of you have the chance to go to the Chelsea Flower Show the 22-26th May in London, there will be a whole garden celebrating Linneaus. I really would have want to go to there, not only for the Linneaus garden, but it’s Chelsea flower show for gods sake!!!! Any gardeners dream, but even ordinary people that appreciate flowers will be in heaven…

Even his journeys are covered by a film about his expeditions, covering the seven continents he went to - it’s quite an achievement just to make a film about it, can you imagine how it was when Linneaus travelled that route 300 years ago???

This documentary “The Expedition Linné” is planned to be released in March 2007 by the world-renowned National Geographic photographer Mattias Klum and producer Folke Rydén. We really want to see that one. If we get the chance, we’ll also report to you about it.

1732 Linnaeus went on his first adventurous expedition, to the sub-Arctic Lapland (high up in the northern Sweden), which was practically unknown at that time. It was from this trip he wrote the first work to use the Sexual System: The Florula Lapponica.

One can only speculate in how difficult that work must have been at that time, with no modern help tools. As you can see in the picture, it wasn’t much he had.

Carl Linneaus
Photo: Sören Hallgren
© The Linnaeus Museum
(Carl Linnaeus home 1743-1778)

The Linneaus 2007 site
Chelsea Flower Show 2007
Chelsea Flower Show 2006 Panorama pictures

♥ Join Green Thumb Sunday ♥

Cruise list: Dot, Gattina, Haddock, That frolicsome kid, Martin, TorAa, Nils, Deb, Debbie, Guppyman, Acey, Claudie, Anita, and Maribeth.
January 27th, 2007

Photo Scavenger Hunt Silver

Posted by Lifecruiser in Photo, Nature
Lifecruisers contribution to theme Silver
© Lifecruiser (Grocery shop, Stockholm, Sweden)

Theme: Silver | Blogroll Info | Next week: Gross

Cruise list: Desert Diva, Rach, Mummy B, Friday's Child, Teena in Toronto, Pastormac's Ann, Eph2810, Meeyauw, PEA, Mysterious Lady, Biker Betty, Stacy, Claudie, MamaDuck, Deb, Sandy, Melli, Hootin' Anni, Gattina, Kay, That frolicsome kid, Srp, Incog, Shoshana, Debbie, TorAa, Sally, LibertyBelle, Frances, Pat, and Eija.
January 26th, 2007

FundaMental Funtastic

Posted by Lifecruiser in Love, Pleasure

I’ve been contacted by Mr Joe Blogs. He wanted to do me. I’m talking about an interview! No, not for a sex talk show either, but a very serious blog interview for his comedian Mr Joe Blog’s Blog.

Curious of my juicy answers that made him so tired after I’ve been jousting through his dreams all night?

Read the interview of Mrs Lifecruiser.

He is on my blogroll from now on. You know I love people with humor. Bah, just go there and leave your usual witty comments!

Then come back here for a liberating laugh…


An elderly Italian man, who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

- “Father … during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied:

- “That was a wonderful thing you did! You have no need to confess that.”

- “It’s worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favours.”

The priest said:

- “By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”

- “Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question.”

- “And what is that?” asked the priest.

- “Should I tell her the war is over?”

Me? I’ll just say once more: Make Love Not War - and why not start to intensify it this weekend…? After all it’s fundamental human nature.

Have a fundamental funtastic weekend ;-)

Cruise list: Jessy, Sexy mom, Regina, Melli, Hootin' Anni, Debbie, Steve Novak, Gattina, That frolicsome kid, Irish Church Lady, and TorAa.
January 25th, 2007

Thirteen medevial pick up lines

Posted by Lifecruiser in Odditys, Love, Pleasure

1. If I had been your horse, I would have wanted that you sat on me without a saddle.

2. The Magician: You know, it’s not only my magic wand that is pointed…

3. You know, that chastity belt would fit perfectly well on my bedroom floor.

4. Don’t believe the rumors you have heard about me… The bubonic plague didn’t hit my most vital body parts.

5. I lost one of my legs in battle. Guess what I’m walking on?!

6. Yes, beautiful damozel, I’m indeed a magician. Do you want to see your clothes disappear?

7. By rights I’m a nice prince that has been bewitched by a mean witch. Tell me, do you like frog sex?

8. Hmm, it seems like I have lost my sex slave. Can I borrow you for a while?

9. Your shelter or mine?

10. My dear lady, you know very well that it isn’t the size of the magic wand that counts, but how magical it is.

11. Your eyes are dark as a moat at midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me in.

12. What does a pretty maiden doing in a dirty dungeon like this?

13. You should be glad that I’m not a viking, because then I would already have devestated and plundered you at this time.


NOTE: Every comment is equally welcome, even if you’re not participating in this Thursday Thirteen-thing, we LOVE all comments :-)

Want to participate? (more…)

Cruise list: Hootin' Anni, Debbie, Raggedy, Sandy, Dot, Marcia, Chelle Y., Joe blogs, Claudie, Rebecca G., Becky D, The Shrone, Amy Jo, Sanni, Colleen, Maribeth, Carmen, Mice and Moonbeams, That frolicsome kid, Irish Church Lady, Sonny, Gattina, Scouser, and Amy.
January 24th, 2007

Fishy Oral Sex

Posted by Lifecruiser in Food, Photo
Cruise list: Aka R'acquel, Haddock, Chrissy, Gledwood, TorAa, Jen, Frances, Hootin' Anni, Claudie, Melli, Lazy Daisy, FelineFrisky - Diane, Debbie, Angelo, Eph2810, Jodi, Sanni, Gattina, That frolicsome kid, Michelle, Janet, Amy, Linda, Bee, Skittles, Rose, Cooper, and Rav`N.
January 23rd, 2007

Tackle is just me full of cackle

Posted by Lifecruiser in Health, Life

Lifecruisers Tackle Top

OK, this TIT’s post will be my confession. I’m still doing a lot of unsexy groaning and on top of that: a lot of cackle but no happening.

Remember my health issues tackles? It isn’t ’nuff to kick my butt once you know, you have to keep kicking it and oh, boy, so hard that I beg for mercy. Obviously. Can’t you just yell at me and pester me constantly until I do something??? What kind of friends are you?!

1) Phone call to Dentist: Done that and even went there yesterday! Phew! Only now Mr Lifecruiser have THREE teeth that needs to be fixed… We got him an appointment 12 Feb. It’s the never ending story.

2) Phone call to Gynecologist: Remember I have a hole that needs to be carefully investigated…. *giggles* (see earlier posts) I didn’t get any new appointment until 20 Feb. I don’t want to wait that long, but then I must get a new Gyn and do they have any earlier appointments?

3) Searching for a caring Doctor: “I’m still working on that one” - which means that I’ve done NOTHING to it since last Tuesday! Serial killer kicks needed! To my defense is that there sure is a lack of generic doctor’s in Sweden and that’s not just a cackle of mine…

4) The Hairdresser: Still waiting for the 1 Feb to come to cut the litlle hair I’ve left. I’m beginning to wonder if shaving it all off is an alternative since I’m going bald anyway ;-)

5) My stomach problems: Remember that I cackled about getting all sort of bacteria capsules instead of eating them via youghurt to improve my immune defense? And to contact my doctor to get copies of my journals? I’m on my way out to get them both NOW and that’s only because of TIT’s. What an “eye servant” I am!

We’re still working very hard on the bed…. to get us into bed I mean and actually sleeping, which means getting up within reasonable time in the mornings, not trying to beat any of our crazy staying awake record of 40 hours….

So I’m not going to be toothless, but maybe bald with bags under my eyes and a very funny limp walk for ever ;-)

Reminder rest Tit’s:

2. Kick my ass to find a new doctor
3. Deal with my health issues
4. Kitchen cupboards
5. Porcelain boxes
6. Clean bathroom
7. Clean hall closet
8. Basement storage
9. Sales ads

(I must have an evil twin that keeps filling up this list all the time….*lol*)

See the latest post and Tackle It Tuesday participants over at 5 minutes for mom.

Cruise list: Debbie, That frolicsome kid, Jen, Cecile, Jenn, Gattina, ChupieandJsmama, Dave, Irish Church Lady, and KnicKnac.
January 22nd, 2007

The Vikings were not stupid

Posted by Lifecruiser in Travel, Swedish, Life

They say that the Vikings had a saying like this:

“Those who know nothing but their home are stupid”.

Now, I may not take it that far, but to conquer the world doesn’t sound that bad to me today. After all it’s Monday, it should be ’nuff said.

But just to add some juicy stuff to that ’nuff, I throw in a late night and too early morning, resulting in a dentist torture of me (I got a cancelled appointment) and a little nice surprise nauseous for Mr Lifecruiser.

Good (?) thing though is that the dentist agreed with me to go on the cheaper (?) filling with plastic instead of porcelain, but it still cost me 750 SEK ($107) for just one tooth filling.

On top of that we have lost the warmth weather. It has been snowing and it’s cold. They say that it’s going to continue and even become colder. I don’t like snow and to slip around which makes my back worse. Or to dress in skipants with suspenders looking like a 5 year old kid going out to ride a sledge. At least not when I’m not allowed to ride’m!!! It’s not fair.

Or wear woolen clothes that itch. Or freezing my butt off.

I had ’nuff of it, I’ve been living in Sweden all my life.

So I’m seriously thinking of doing like the Vikings. Well, not the plunderings (hm…) or rapings (sorry guys ;-), but the cruising. After all, being born up here in the north must mean that I have some Viking blood in me, right?

Now, I’m just wandering, do I need an icebreaker to make it out of here or would it be sufficient with a nice little Cruise ship? I think I’ll skip the authentic Viking ship, there is no time to build one now…

We’re seriously thinking of booking a 24h cruise to the island Åland, just to get going with the feeling and sort of put the Viking blood in surging. And we’re not going alone either, we’re taking a bunch of other savages Viking friends with us. Our best friend Miss Ass. Lifecruiser among others and then you understand the caliber of this gang…

I’m not telling you the date yet, so you won’t be able to send out alerts! I’m not stupid, I’ve Viking blood in me remember…

I do have one other problem though. It can be windy. I get seasick. Remember how it went last time when we cruised to Helsinki, Finland? When I had that romantic night in the cabin…. toilet… One time is quite ’nuff.

I don’t like to showel up seasickness pills in my butt either.

You see, no matter how I turn, my butt is still back there.

How do Vikings send secret messages?
- Norse code.

So I must send a SOS message to get me OUT OF HERE….!!!!!

NOTE: Not even those flames or the heavy Love making here can hold us ’nuff warm…

Cruise list: Daddy Forever, That frolicsome kid, Norma, Hootin' Anni, Melli, and Gattina.
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