1. What do you do with people that lies constantly?
2. What do you do with people that don’t listen?
3. What do you do with people that’s destroying their lifes?
4. What do you do with people that won’t accept help?
5. What do you do with people that don’t have empathy?
6. What do you do with people that don’t care?
7. What do you do with people that don’t understand?
8. What do you do with people that don’t fit in anywhere?
9. What do you do with people that manipulate others?
10. What do you do with people that take advantage?
11. What do you do with people playing with feelings?
12. What do you do with people to stop all this?

Secret whisper: Yes, I really know people like this and one person that does it all! It’s very frustrating and sensitive, because every measure can back kick on other persons who has suffered enough already. And thank god that I have Mr Lifecruiser, who is the total opposite to the above!!!

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27 Comments on “Thursday Thirteen Questions”

    Karen UNITED STATES said:

    Pray for them! Pray for them! Pray for all of them! That’s the condensed version for each of those. Those are all really tough ones to grasp, but praying seems like the first thing to do and then go from there. :)
    My Birthday TT is up!

    Lifecruiser: Yes, it’s just that “then go from there” that’s so tough. This demands that you do something more, but that’s very difficult. Like balancing on a string….


    What you do is – stay away from them if possible, ignore them if possible, and never ever trust them or give them more than you need to.

    my TT is up

    Lifecruiser:Yes, I would say so too, but it can be very difficult if you’re related to them…

    Mandy NETHERLANDS said:

    Hello Mrs Lifecruiser. I’ve met people like that too, and still know people like that. Your number one.. I detest liars. You can do nothing with them and never know when they are telling the truth. Thing is, I’ve also learnt that people don’t change.

    Happy 13

    Lifecruiser: Pheeew. At first I thought you wrote that “You’re number one”, before I saw that it said YOUR number one… ha ha. Sadly enough, I think you’re right – often they don’t change. It really is sad, because THEY loose so much by it themselves!

    Tink NETHERLANDS said:

    Wow, that list has got me thinking! Unfortunately I know several of those people. I try to make them see what they are doing, but most of the time that’s hopeless (except that it’s off my chest). The other thing I do is avoiding them, but that’s not the best advice I guess… Good luck with them!
    My TT is about my new kitten.

    Lifecruiser: Well, that’s what I’ve been doing too and I must say that I see it as hopeless too and the avoiding bit is a little bit more difficult when it is close relatives….

    carmen UNITED STATES said:

    Well, we’re supposed to love them anyway. But I’ll admit it’s hard. :)

    Lifecruiser: We, in this case it’s a close relative, so of course we love the person anyway, but it’s a real pity that we can’t socialize in normal terms and that other persons involved get to suffer from this behaviour…


    Great list of questions and I like Karens answer. Pray pray and then pray some more! You know I have been doing lots of that lately! LOL

    Nicely done! Hope you and Mr Lifecruiser have a great day! :-)

    Lifecruiser: Yes, thanks Fruitful Spirit. We’ve had a wonderful day visiting my Mom, as always on thursdays :-)

    Claudie FRANCE said:

    So, we all know such undesirable personns! It’s a pity for themselves and for the other! But nobody is total bad or total good, I think we must take the best and firmly put of things wich are bad!

    Yes, that’s true, even if it’s difficult sometimes!


    I’m afraid I’m a little hard-hearted when it comes to dealing with people like this. My first reaction is to just walk away and forget about them because I refuse to waste time or energy on their problems/hang ups.

    I’m not exactly proud of this behavior, but that’s who I am. (I’m a die-hard optimistic)

    Lifecruiser: Sometimes, you have to walk away too. The refuse to get sucked in to their dramas, ias a kind of self defence I think, to survive your self.

    Denise UNITED STATES said:

    1. Call them on EVERY lie.
    2. Stop talking to them.
    3. Offer advice once, then let them do whatever they want.
    4. Stop offering.
    5. Pity them.
    6. Pity them.
    7. Try to help them understand.
    8. Accept them.
    9. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
    10. Put my foot down with them.
    11. Call them on it…then stay away from them.
    12. What do you do with people to stop all this?

    Lifecruiser: I agree to a lot of this. Even though it’s very tough. And it takes a lot of time…

    Kimmy UNITED STATES said:

    Those are very difficult and frustrating questions. We have to pray for them and love them. They’re missing something in their life… we can’t change it for them, but we can give them to God!

    Happy T13! My list’s up!

    Lifecruiser: I don’t think this one will accept God though :-)

    colleen UNITED STATES said:

    When all else fails, I bless them and then set up some pretty clear boundaries. If I have to see them, I try to be cordial but I also try not to get sucked into their dramas.

    Mine are late breaking.

    Lifecruiser: Yes, good answer as usual from you, we’ve done that now.

    Napfisk BELGIUM said:

    To be honest, I thought that described me at first?! I don’t fit in, I never understand and I surely feel I’m messing up my own life sometimes… But then again, not everything turned out to relate to me (I hope). Made me think, though, of how we are all with some flaw and it’s good to at least know them and think about them.

    PS. Watch that roof when all that 9rules traffic comes soaring through it now that you’ve been announced! Congrats once more, my Swedish blogging buddies!

    Lifecruiser: Ha ha, you’re incredible Napfisk :-) We all mess up sometimes, but I don’t think that you can beat this person if you so try the hardest you can! Thanks for the tip too :-)


    For me it would depend on how close the person is–if it is a relative, it’s harder to deal with. My usual approach is to not associate with them anymore, or deal with them in a limited basis. If I am forced to deal with them, I do so–but cautiously. It’s not an easy situation to have to cope with, that’s for sure!

    Lifecruiser: No, it really isn’t easy… Pheeew….

    mar SPAIN said:

    Can’t change/help them? get away from them… Always surround yourself with happy, positive, friendly people. Like us, bloggers…:cool:
    Happy TT!

    Lifecruiser: I agree, but unfortunately this is a close relative…

    krome.obsession NEW ZEALAND said:

    I ask them why?

    Why do you lie to me, is the truth too painful?
    Why don’t you listen to me, do you need to speak?
    Why are you destroying your life, do you see no future?
    Why won’t you accept help, do you not believe me when I offer it?
    Why do you have no empathy, is you own issues that draining or your emotional self?
    Why don’t you fit in, have you simply not found yourself and so don’t draw in others of a positive likeness?
    Why do you manipulate people, is that they only way you know how to intereacte with others?
    Why do you take advantage of people, is this your way of gaining self worth?
    Why do you play with others feelings, do you not feel this is revenge for what others have done to you?
    Why wont you stop, is this your cry for help that I’m not hearing?

    I’ve done a lot of things in my past that hurt others, and while some of it I didn’t realise, other times I simply didn’t care. I admit that. But it is not always possible to express ourself in ways that others understand. I am so guilty of this .. which gets me accused of many nasty things.

    Then again, maybe I’m simply living in hope that those who do these things are simply living in the moment of a hurt child and that they can be helped ..

    Lifecruiser: Good questions those too. Though a bit though for this person to answer too. I do believe that this person is blocked in the mind and simply can’t take in any questions or answers. It’s very difficult to try to reach a blocked mind!

    my 2 cents UNITED STATES said:

    Good questions! Not sure I know the answers. Just try your best with each one, I suppose. On some of those I would say to avoid the person after a time, if you can not help them. In some cases people are just not worth hanging out with if they are going to be manipulating people, lying constantly or trying to take advantage.

    Those are difficult questions.

    Lifecruiser: Yes, it really is the most difficult questions, especially since this person really needs help. You feel helpless, like your’e throwing the person to the wolves… But we’ll do what we have to do and we can’t do any more than that.

    Frances UNITED STATES said:

    I know a person who has it all too.
    Nothing to do but pray for them.
    It hurts when we know we could offer some comfort and it’s refused.
    Take care,

    Lifecruiser: Yes, it does….

    astrocoz UNITED STATES said:

    1. I stop believing them and I let them know that I don’t take them with any credibility and if they want it back, they have to earn it.
    2. Often repeat myself over and over, but I try to get them to focus and listen by telling them that I am hurt that they aren’t taking what I am saying as something valid.
    3. Let them make mistakes, because they won’t learn unless they do.
    4. Help in discreet ways that they may not recognize until after the fact.
    5. Kick ‘em! J/K, I don’t know anyone like that, but I’d try to relate the problem to them by putting them in the person’s shoes.
    6. That’s hard. Its hard to make someone care.
    7. Explain it a different way than I had been or have someone else explain for me.
    8. Accept them as they are.
    9. Ignore their tactics.
    10. Refuse to help them anymore and tell them that I don’t trust them.
    11. Ditto on 10.
    12. I just tell them that I really cannot trust them anymore and that they really have to earn that trust back if they want me to be an active person in their life. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but letting the person know what you think about the situation makes me feel better, because I said something and I didn’t sit back and let something happen.

    I hope things work out for you, its hard dealing with people like that.

    Anyhow, my TT is up!

    Lifecruiser: Usually I do most of these things too, this time it’s a bit more complicated, more persons involved, special disabilitys etc. Pheeew. It’s a mess, but I’m not alone in this, so I hope we’ll manage to rid up the mess at the end. It gonna take time though!


    I think eveybody knows someone who fits in at least one of these catagories. It can be very frustrating to deal with. Great questions. My T13 is up at Dane Bramage It is the “Quotes and Epigrams” Edition.

    Lifecruiser: Yes, it’s truly frustrating and make you very very tired :-) I’m off to visit you!

    Janet UNITED STATES said:

    You try to help, that’s all you can do.

    Lifecruiser: Oh, you clever girl, how simple this sounds – and it’s true too :-)

    Barb UNITED STATES said:

    All I can say is love them, pray for them, and leave them alone! #’s 1 & 9 usually go together. So does #’s 3 & 6. Someone has a problem, if they have all these characteristics!

    Lifecruiser: Yes, big problem. There is more to it of course than you get to know here, I can’t write it out because of consideration ot others. But I find it very interesting to read all the answers. So alike my own!

    Cindi UNITED STATES said:


    1. What do you do with people that lies constantly? First – call them on it. Second – wait for the truth, if it takes forever. Third – Quit asking them questions since the answers aren’t trustworthy.
    2. What do you do with people that don’t listen? Make lists, enforce the lists, dismiss the person from your realm if he can’t listen to the queen, he doesn’t need to be part of the kingdom.
    3. What do you do with people that’s destroying their lifes?
    Ummm…. let them learn from their mistakes. If they ask for help, offer.
    4. What do you do with people that won’t accept help?
    Accept that they have to make their own choices, sometimes they make the wrong ones. Luckily, you are not held responsible for that.
    5. What do you do with people that don’t have empathy?
    Point it out to them, over and over.
    6. What do you do with people that don’t care?
    Kill them with kindness and caring.
    7. What do you do with people that don’t understand?
    Understand that not everyone can, or will, or will even try.
    8. What do you do with people that don’t fit in anywhere?
    Make a place for them.
    9. What do you do with people that manipulate others?
    Disassociate from them. And point out to those who stay close to them, that pain is the only result of that relationship.
    10. What do you do with people that take advantage?
    Don’t let them. And make sure others know their leanings.
    11. What do you do with people playing with feelings?
    If they are my feelings, call them on it, and put a stop to it. Someone elses, go to the person being injured and hurt and make sure they know what is going on.
    12. What do you do with people to stop all this?
    You can’t stop everyone from being offensive to others. Diversity makes the world go round. But you can choose what people are in your life.

    Mine are probably different than yours. But hey, I took a shot.


    My 13 are up and running

    Lifecruiser: I’m really impressed, as of the other answers :-) YEP, many of them is the same as I think myself. They differ a bit only because I have the whole background, which you don’t.

    Lisa UNITED STATES said:

    Some pretty deep questions there Mrs. Life(notTom)Cruise(r). Especially when they are related to you.

    Here’s what I know about myself: I know I can only control what I do. So, if they’re busy messing up their life, that is their free will to do so. Your choice, however, is to decide how much of it you will allow into your own life. And that is YOUR free will at work.

    When I pray, I ask for whatever is in their highest good to take place. Who knows? Perhaps they have a lesson they are to learn through those behaviors. That is not for us to know. So, I ask for whatever is their highest good and then detach from it. A greater intelligence than I can see all and help guide wisely.

    Thanks for stopping by Snarkypants! And I hope things work out for you.

    Lifecruiser: LOL. Well, it’s possible that’s it, but it’s still very difficult to see the person do this kind if huge mistakes that can effect the rest of life and others life too. I hope it will be OK one day :-)

    Raggedy UNITED STATES said:

    Steer clear of those kinds of people..
    Great TT
    My TT is up
    Have a wonderful Thursday!

    Lifecruiser: I usually does, but this is a close relative so it isn’t that easy :-)

    Christine UNITED STATES said:

    I’ve learned to love and accept them for who they are, and not their behavior. It’s the behavior that’s unacceptable not the person. Ultimately it is the person’s choice about how they live their life. Living my life and taking care of my children is my priority. I’ll help them to a point, but if it affects my family negatively I distance myself. I do believe people can change.At least I’d give them a chance or two. Miracles may happen, but I’d accept the fact that it might not. You never know. I feel it would be a shame to turn my back on them and miss it when they do turn their life around. Then I would say I would be there for them if they decide to change, but that their behavior is unacceptable, and I choose not to be around it.
    I’ve had ceartain times in my life with family in some of these situations. I don’t know if I could handle all of these, but I ignore the drama and try to stay out of it all cost. I didn’t mean to ramble if I did, but I’ve been trying to find the answer to these questions too. You put it so well, that there is always more to the story, than we can say! I know what you mean.
    Thanks for visiting my T13, I’m glad you did, I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments.

    Lifecruiser: Well, I suspect we’ll never turn our back on this person completely, just like you said, if the person change it’s another matter. But I can’t see that change coming now at least. For now we’re just very firm against that person and protective against the persons around this person that is affected of the behaviour.

    AmandaF UNITED STATES said:

    Good questions. Very diffcult to answer expecially when they are surrounded by people vulnerable to them

    Lifecruiser: Yes, they sure are. A tricky situation indeed. But we’ll take one day at the time, that’s all we can do.

    Danielle UNITED STATES said:

    There’s always a reason people act the way they do–the hard part is figuring out that reason.

    The even harder part is fixing the reason, because its usually not good.

    Continuing to love is the easiest part and love can eventually erode all barriers!

    Have a great weekend!

    Lifecruiser: Well, time will tell if the situation is going to be any better :-)

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