When I was a child, my siblings were telling me bedtime stories. Scary horror stories which didn’t exactly made me sleepy. They did made me afraid of the dark though…

We were sleeping in the same room, my siblings and I, when I grow up. It was rather contradictory, because on one hand it was making me feel very safe and on the other hand, not at all safe. They were excellent horror stories tellers – older than me as they were, their stories were like true professional horror stories.

You know, all the good stuff, murderers, hunting of victims, blood that dripped, heads shopped off, body parts laying around, surprise moments that made me scream loud and so on. We all had very high level of imagination. We had a lot of fantasy bubbling.

Despite the fact that I begged them to tell me these stories, I was at the same time terrified and ready to pee my pants. You have to remember that they started at a very early age to horrify my mind…. (No wonder I am like I am today ;-)

I was so afraid of the dark that I didn’t dare to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without putting on every light on the way. One evening when I had gone to bed and the others were still up, they could here me coming up, putting on the lights during my way to the bathroom.

Then there were a very long pause in the bathroom and after that I went straight out of the entrance door, out in the common entrance hall and put on the light out there. Then I went to bed again. I was doing it in my sleep, because I fell asleep in the bathroom. Still I wanted the lights on.

I also remember that when I should go home from a friend in the evenings, even if it were on the same street, I’d always run home the fastest I could, just because I was afraid of the dark. Oh, and how I hated it if the light were not funtioning somewhere! I guess that even our bitter neighbour contributed some to my fear of the dark.

I was afraid of the dark even when I had growned up and moved in with my boyfriend. We lived in a very small apartment with just one room and a kind of kitchen. The light to the living room where the same as for the hallway, so when going to bed in the nights, we had to put out the light in the hallway and get all the way to the bed in darkness…

You got the picture, I never wanted to put out the light for the night, so I always throwed myself in the bed before my boyfriend. One night he decided to change that and nearly beated me. Call it even then, but I refused to recognize that, so what happened? We woke up the next morning with the light still on!

I also made my dog afraid of the dark. When I was out walking him in the evenings and it were dark, I was always on my toes all the time and sensitive as he were, he started to wondering if there might not be anything dangerous after all if I was so nervous.

That meant that every time there were any noice of any kind, I went nervous which made the dog nervous, so in the end, he did always snarl at any noice, just to be on the safe side. As he thought – me – I just become even more nervous….

To be afraid of the dark is a very strange feeling. As a grown up I knew that it was quite silly to be afraid. What was suppose to happen? And just because it was dark? I couldn’t explain it.

I didn’t think that there was some murderer or monster who wanted to attack me, it had grown to a more general feeeling that the dark was dangerous. It was the darkness in itself that scared me. Like a black hole you didn’t know anything about.

It didn’t help much to reason with myself, my mind was still clogged up with the old horror stories. What you experience or learn as a child are very strong memories obviously!

The fear has kind of faded away gradually during the years – or maybe when getting older, you also see the advantages with the darkness ;-)

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13 Comments on “Afraid of the dark memories”

    Debbie said:

    Funny how our siblings can be to us! Mine were the same way. I still have nightlights in each room of my house. I can’t go to sleep in complete darkness and hate to wake up in it! Good memory! Thanks for the share!

    Thanks for the code. I will play with it later today. This morning I have an appointment with my new doctor. :( Nothing going on I just need to have a good check up!

    I will write more later about our trip to the waterfalls. I posted another picture on my photoblog. It was really a wonderful trip. Hubby and I just decided to get away for the day!

    Lifecruiser: So, you have the same experience as me hah? *lol* I hope your “date” with the doc turns out well. i hate going to the doc, too much bad experiences…

    Friday's Child said:

    Isn’t it funny. We’re scared about ghosts, witches and other horror stories but we still do want to listen to it or watch it even when there’s one on TV.
    Thanks for stopping by.

    Lifecruiser: It was like I was drawn to it, it was tickling my nerves :-)

    viamarie said:

    I too had the same fears as a child. Can’t remember anymore how I was able to overcome it.

    My MM is up now. Have a nice Monday!

    Lifecruiser: It’s seem like many of us have been as a child.

    Irish Church Lady said:


    LOL ~ older siblings always like to do that with younger ones. I see the same thing happening in my house. My older kids have turned the youngest into a lover of horror movies even though I hate them! But she does get scared about a lot of things too as a result. She loves Halloween too!

    I love how you left the light on all night even as an adult! lmao

    Lifecruiser: Yes, it’s that exciting scary happy feeling all mixed up *lol*

    Irish Church Lady said:

    Oops … a little comment happy there….apologies. I wanted to say my MM is now up! :-)

    Chana said:

    oh sister of mine, how i looked for you for so long, ;p…

    honey, i know exactly what you wrote here..almost word for word..oh my goodness, you have no idea what a chicken i am and how i’m terrified of not only the dark but the nights when the kids are off to their dad and i am left all alone..

    It is pitiful really. i even feel sorry for me, it is so sad. like last friday after all that happened, and Joe left, grrr, and my kids left, i was so miserable and alone and scared out of my mind i wouldn’t take the muscle relaxant because i was scared of being nocked out..

    i sleep nightly with the tv four for me is classical music playing while news roll up in the screen as, if i’m cuddled and accompanied by someone then, i feel safe enough to turn it off but trust me otherwise that tv is on 24/7 ..and lights..oh my goodness..the nights i’m left my byself, every floor in this house has lights looks like a huge blog of light from the outside i’m sure..

    yeah, it’s sad, and it’s fear of being alone and in the dark at 37 lol..

    Lifecruiser: Well, it’s that young experiences that get stuck so incredible in our minds obviously and it doesn’t matter that your’e grown up and reasoning with yourself, your logic mind, it’s still there, glued in there somewhere. I guess that if i lived in a house instead of a small apartment, I’d do like you!!!!

    Sandy said:

    Darkness is just like that and I would say for most people. As a child I was scared once by a man that loved doing it to me. He made me afraid and that stuck with me too.
    Now I just know better!! Growing up has helped me understand so many things.
    My Monday memories is up if you would like to read about the scariest day of my life…Sandy

    Lifecruiser: Hm, are you trying to tell me another scary horror story here? *lol*

    Lazy Daisy said:

    I’ve always had an overactive imagination. I grew up with horror stories too and could always scare myself much more with my imagination than anything on TV. Mr. Wonderful says I’m very suggestable. When my kids were late coming home I always could picture them in a car wreck or even worse scenerio.

    Lifecruiser: Hm, you sounds like Mr Lifecruiser, he always tell me the most scaring thought when we’re doing something special, like going up in the elevator to the Eiffeltower. His imagination always tend to think about how it would be if there was an accident of any kind… *lol*

    Janene said:

    It’s so funny how things that scare us when we are little stick with us when we get older. I don’t like quiet…never really did. When it’s too quiet I hear noises. Most of the time they aren’t anything big ~ little house creaks and moans. But I always imagine they are something worse. This comes from knowing that when it was quiet at my house (when I was little) my parents were headed off to bed. That was always a little scary for me…because they weren’t awake to protect me. I always tried to fall asleep before they went to bed ~ now I have some kind of noise in the background to help me sleep.

    thanks for stopping by! Hope you have a great week!

    Lifecruiser: Funny how differnt it can be. i don’t like noises in the background at all, though I sleep like a rock when I do, so it don’t matter to me really :-)

    Chi said:

    I think we all have a fear of something…and I would say that my greatest fear is falling…something I have been known to do from time to time. I am also afraid of heights but am getting a little better about that fear. *s*

    Lifecruiser: Oh, oh, don’t even mention the heights for me…..!!!

    Cece said:

    OMG! I so remember the years of walking from one side of the house to the other and having to flip on EACH & EVERY light. Even though I’m 33, I’m still a little afraid of the dark. Shhhh, don’t tell my kids.

    Lifecruiser: My mouth is sealed…. *lol*

    Happy and Blue 2 said:

    I had the same thing happen to me. Not the dark though. I was, and still am afraid of turnips. Well, mostly now I just don’t like them..

    Lifecruiser: Ha ha ha, I remember that you wrote something about that earlier H&B2 :-)

    Dot said:

    Hi, Just dropping in to catch up with all the posts i have missed. Isn`t it funny how easy we believe the nade up stories our older siblings tell us. Children are so trusting that way.
    While I am not afraid of the dark, I still prefer the light where you can see everything that is around you. How is you Mom doing? I think of her a lot and hope she ios doing well. Is she in the new home yet?
    Nice pictures of the plants.

    Lifecruiser: Well, there have been a lot to tell about my Mom after the move Dot, that’s why we haven’t got any posts from her yet. She is rather OK though. We’re still waiting for some information, but there will be a post any day now – maybe even today. Thanks for your concern :-)

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