Sometimes even airline flight attendants tries to be funny, this is claimed to be some real examples:

1. “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.”

2. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…”

3. “Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”

4. “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.”

5. “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”

6. Pilot – “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land… it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”

7. As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head attendant announced on the intercom, “This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft.”

8. “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.”

9. “Last one off the plane must clean it.”

10. And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry…Unfortunately none of them are on this flight…!”

11. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?”

12. Overheard on an XYZ Airlines flight on a windy and bumpy day. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to (city name). Please remain in your seats with your seatbelt fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

13. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than XYZ Airlines.”

Which ones are your favorite of those? Mine is #7-9!

Captain Lifecruiser


25 Comments on “13 Fun pun in airplanes”


    Oh these are awesome. I love them all. I love your sense of humore. Have a great TT. :)

    Comedy Plus’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – 123rd Edition

    ellen b said:

    Those are very funny! Happy TT to you…

    ellen b’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #13 ~ Handel’s Messiah

    Friday's Child said:

    These really made me smile all the way through.

    Friday’s Child’s last blog post..Christmas – In different parts of the World (T13 #64)

    pussreboots said:

    Last time I flew was 6 years ago. Happy TT and thanks for stopping by.

    nicholas said:

    Those are all very funny but I think #9 is my fave!

    DrillerAA said:

    No. 1 is too true to be funny.

    Happy TT and Merry Christmas

    Jeni Hill Ertmer said:

    I’ve seen some of those before and they still crack me up! You have to have a sense of humor when doing work like that I think – just like waitressing or any other work dealing with the general public, and it should really be a mandatory requirement come to think of it.

    Jeni Hill Ertmer’s last blog post..Sailors, Beware!

    SandyCarlson said:

    No. 11 killed me. Thanks for the great laugh. I haven’t flown in years….Now I know why!

    SandyCarlson’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen No. 12: Chrismahanuhajj–What?

    Gattina said:

    Hehe, really funny and I could add another one, when you have to fill in the” immigration” sheet for the USA in the airplane they ask you if you are a drug dealer or a communist (!!) and they suggest you to immidiately contact our embassy in case of difficulties ! (they don’t say how !)

    Natalie said:

    Those are all too funny! LOL!

    My T13 post is up, come check it out if you get a chance. :)

    Natalie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – My Randomness

    SJ Reidhead said:

    They are funny. Your blog is beautiful! Makes me want to go to the Islands and just watch the sun set!

    The Pink Flamingo

    Andy said:

    Even though im not going on an airline. I love reading your posts. I end up procrastinating half way through them for half an hour. The power of the imagination i guess. Thanks so much.

    Andy’s last blog post..Wladimir Klitschko vs Sultan Ibragimov free live boxing video links and streams

    Grace said:

    I love #8. Adults acting like children! Ha! There are plenty of them around, surely, especially in case of emergencies!

    Grace’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #22

    Mar said:

    LOL, I loved the list, I will listen carefully next time I fly, I seldom pay attention because of the poor quality of the sound system :)
    Loved nr 5 :grin:
    I allowed myself to tag my current TT as cyber cruise :wink:

    Mar’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen [ 67 ] : Gran Canaria

    Damozel said:

    Being very afraid of flying, those are the sort of quips that I laugh hollowly over if made in the course of an actual plane trip—but I admit, they are very funny in print!!

    Damozel’s last blog post..T13 #* | Thirteen Favorite Animal Videotapes

    Sherman Oaks said:

    No.9 is great. I can just imagine people rushing for the exits, and pushing each other back, not wanting to be last…LOL!

    kailani said:

    I love #12. I’ve experienced more than my share of those landings! :grin:

    kailani’s last blog post..Giveaway: Personalized Bag Tags from Olive Kids

    Kat's Krackerbox said:

    Those were hilarious! Happy TT

    Kat’s Krackerbox’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen # 20 – 13 dishes to try this Christmas

    Holly said:

    Oh wow – am I going to get my own little dolphin or fishy? :mrgreen:

    I was on a flight once where the pilot must have been a frustrated stand-up comic. He USED a couple of these!


    Happy TT-13!



    Holly’s last blog post..Red Hot Passion!

    Holly said:

    Ut oh….this is too cute – this will cause me to post again to get a cute little fishy…. :grin: :lol:

    Okay, say something useful….

    I like #10 the best

    Now bring on the fishy!

    Holly’s last blog post..Red Hot Passion!

    Susan Helene Gottfried said:

    Woo! Those are great fun, and much needed humor at this time of the day. Thanks!

    Susan Helene Gottfried’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #58 — Musical Hanukkah Wrap-up

    Linda R. Moore said:

    Oh, so funny! I like the little old lady one. ;)

    I have two TT13s this week:

    Better decluttering through TT13

    Calistoga, California for RVers

    Linda R. Moore’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #22: Better decluttering through Thursday Thirteen

    Janet said:

    hahahah perfect, and I have to fly tomorrow!

    Janet’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #98

    momhuebert said:

    Thanks for the humor today. I really enjoyed this list!

    P.S. Your blog design is very pretty!

    momhuebert’s last blog post..TT# 15: Books Never Written

    Charterresor said:

    I loved the list .These really made me smile all the way through. They are presented in such a way that they provide some information to air passengers and make the readers enjoy. Thanks for the great laugh.

Leave a Comment