Gil Elvgren, 1965.

I’m not at all afraid of flying – are you? I hope not, because then you won’t appreciate this post!

Even I might be a bit nervous if overhearing this over the Airline P.A. System:

1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.

2. Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.

3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it’s all part of our airline’s new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.

4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o’clock….one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!!

5. Ummmmmm….Sorry……(silence)

6. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)…. uhhhhh….we have to go back ….we ..we ….uhhhhhh…. forgot something…..

7. I’m sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we’ll be flying much more efficiently now.

8. Fasten your seat belt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car).

9. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie.

10. This is your Captain speaking….these stupid planes are a lot different than the ships I’m used to.. so you’ll have to give me some leeway…

…and NO, the last one wasn’t ME…. *giggles*

So, when are our next plane scheduled to take off…?

Captain Flying Lifecruiser

10 Comments on “10 Flight Frights”

    RennyBA said:

    After reading this post, I’ll defiantly stop going by plane and stick to your ship Capt’n :razz:

    RennyBA’s last blog post..Finally snow in Oslo

    TorAa said:

    Like me Captain– the differnce is I would have asked for my -6 glasses before arrival.

    BTW . I will not change my head story until at least Sunday. But there might be something on Saturday PH.

    hugs to the both of U 2

    TorAa’s last blog post..Crossing Rio de la Plata from Buenos Aires to Colonia del Sacramento

    Kango said:

    :mrgreen: This is your captain speaking. Everybody have a will?

    Jeni Hill Ertmer said:

    I love to read those quips by pilots and flight attendants too – some are really hysterical! Not necessarily for the faint of heart or with fears of flying maybe though.

    Jeni Hill Ertmer’s last blog post..Surprise Package

    Gattina said:

    Whoops, nothing for me, lol ! But so far I have only had one bad experience that was over Chicago where we were in 3 thunderstorms and the hand luggages fell out of the boxes ! The plane was shaking like a sheep’s tail ! and jumped up and down like a frog. There I think I thought for the first time about doing a testament !
    BTW I am ready with my Ice Sculpture Exposition. I will publish it tomorrow morning. I am quite proud about my pictures would never have thought that they came out so nice with my little camera!

    TorAa said:

    Dear Captain,
    Kango – spam or what?

    TorAa’s last blog post..Crossing Rio de la Plata from Buenos Aires to Colonia del Sacramento

    Lifecruiser said:

    No, Tor, I don’t regard Kango as spam. Yes, they make some kind of marketing of different hotels etc in their links, but I’ve decided to acknowledge the comments anyway. That’s because their comments are in fact real comments (they keep coming back) and I actually think that Kango might become an interesting site when it comes to travel. Oh, and they do have a blog to. Anyway: I want to keep an eye on them for a while :-)


    Well, if I wasn’t scared to fly before I certainly would be after hearing any one of these. Yikes.

    Sorry I haven’t been around. My DSL has been out since last Friday’s storm. Everything is back working fine now. Have a great day Captain. :)

    Comedy Plus’s last blog post..Love and Hate Meme

    Lynda Lehmann said:

    Extreme turbulence during which flight attendants are told to take their seats, will do the trick, as well….

    Lynda Lehmann’s last blog post..The Warmth of Nostalgia

    jan said:

    For the people that want to try flying first you can also try a aeroplane simulator

    Nice Post btw ;)

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